Girl With Purpose

The most beautiful thing happened to me tonight. FIrst of all, I came home from the grocery store tonight & began to feel very emotional. I was feeling a deep sense of sadness as I was doing my grocery shopping, and as I walked home, i began to feel lonely. I have been struggling with loneliness for a long time. I feel lonely all the time, even when I am surrounded by people. The long Be still & know that I am God came into my head so i decided to listen to it on youtube, and somehow that led me to these scripture lullabies. They are so beautiful. They are lullabies using words of scripture.. They are so beautiful. I couldn’t stop listening to them. I listen to a lot of music, a lot of the time the songs I listen to have very abstract lyrics. but tonight, i just listened to direct, clear, true words from scripture in soft beautiful lullabies . I’ve been listening to them for hours, and am still listening to them. 
Let me say something about what happened to be a few months ago.  i needed  medicine for my loneliness ..I searched for love & I’ve been searching. & thought i found it. Instead, I got hurt ….No one has ever hurt me like this before.  I think it hurt more because I gave my heart away, i put my soul, my emotions, everything on the line, in hope for something meaningful. It wasn’t though, my heart went through a war zone, and I didn’t win. I kept fighting trying to make it work, I tried so hard. YET as I listen to these songs i realize that God wants to make it easy. Love should be peaceful, it should give you life. I don’t have to fight to be accepted because i already am. The Lord has given be a book full of scripture that tells me over and over how much God loves me and delights in me. I keep thinking about how this one person didn’t love me right, when really it doesn’t matter. How I was treated as nothing to do with my true value. God says I am wanted , so therefore I am wanted. God says I am loved so therefore I am loved. I am thankful that I found these lullibies tonight :) I am going to listen to them everyday & fall asleep to them every night  I don’t know what I was going to do tonight, probably would have just sat here feeling sorry for myself, but instead I got a chance to sit & cry and feel something. I began to feel again, I felt overwhelmed with Gods love :)

Here is one of my favorites
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFcOeEDgGbE